by Jesse Lott
When most people think of a relationship, they tend to think of it as something they have— a noun. I encourage my clients to also think of their relationships as something they engage in, something they “do”— a verb. I call it “relationshipping.”
Many struggling relationships are not struggling because the relationship itself is flawed fundamentally, but rather because of the relationshipping, or how each person is “doing” the relationship. This subtle difference is a more allowing and forgiving perspective that offers each person room to grow their skills, to be more effective at doing a relationship.
When we think of our relationships as something we do, not simply as something we have, we are more inclined to be actively engaged within them, as actions requires thoughtful intention and awareness for them to be effective.
We all have the capacity to relationship well. Sometimes we just need to practice.
How’s your relationshipping?